The Dilated Pupil's Reviews

***** - Back in the early 90's a guy named John Woo made movies that weren't completely watered-down trash.  The last of those movies was called Hard Boiled and it was amazing.  A young Chow Yun-Fat plays a cop named Tequila and he's out for revenge.  If you listen to the commentary, you learn that they actually started filming without a script as the guy writing the movie died before sending in a final version.  As far as I'm concerned the movie features the best shootout scene of all-time, it's roughly 45 minutes long and features a nursery ward evacuation.  If you're a fan of action movies you should look no further than Hong Kong cinema in the late 80's early 90's.

*** - It's hard to qualify but Hot Tub Time Machine is both amazing and forgettable.  Crispin Glover plays out one of the best repeat jokes of the movie but his performance is completely flat as are all of the scenes with Chevy Chase.  The script was plagued by "hey, wouldn't it be funny if we did x instead?" writing and direction.  John Cusack plays the "grown up" version of his character from Say Anything, Rob Cordrey continues his role as the ugly-bald-white-drunk that he owned for his time on the Daily Show and Craig Robinson gives the best performance as Craig Robinson.

So with a predictable plot, flat performances and an homage to Ski Patrol, why would I give it a 3?  Because Rob Cordrey is an awesome ugly-bald-white-drunk, John Cusack was hilarious in Say Anything and Ski Patrol freaking rocked.  So long as you turn off your brain before hand you'll enjoy this great white buffalo.

*** - Van Damme gives an introspective performance about societies addiction to celebrity.  I guess I liked it but the constant breaking of the 3rd wall could have used some trimming. Certainly the most interesting JCVD movie I've seen and one of the coolest intro sequences I've seen in a while. Nothing like his usual fare for those of you put off by the star.

*** -  A hockey team of losers in the 70's trying to establish a fan-base in a town of layed-off factory workers. The most interesting thing about this movie is that Paul Newman is complete trash from start to finish.  Rarely do I see a movie where the main character doesn't change. As for the comedy, and I do still think it was a comedy, the three brothers steal the show.  Eh?

**** - This movie took me completely by surprise. Nicely shot and well acted.  I really enjoyed the parenting scenes with Aiello but the way the kitchen is filmed made it worth the watch.  I'm completely amazed by cooks in city restaurants because there is simply no space and they're constantly moving.  The timing makes it feel like Altman but better.  As a side, if you enjoy restaurant movies you should add Big Night to the queue.

*** - What's Japanese for "hell yeah!"?  Kataude Mashin Gâru. Quick summary: Japanese school girl with one arm that's been replaced by a machine gun goes around getting revenge on Yakuza for the death of her brother.  This is easily the bloodiest movie I've ever seen.  As for the acting/directing...eesh. It's actually painful to listen to some of the dialog but the final boss battle is completely insane which is why I gave it a three.

*** - Enjoyable but pretty plain. The whole thing seemed very generic except for one element. The "party guy" character played by Sean William Scott was a good guy the whole movie. Typically that type of character is busy screwing things up but instead it was Paul Rudd's character that kept destroying his life. Oh, and the kids were hilarious.

*** - Ah, there it is, that indie movie self-loathing. Aside from that, it's a very well cast, stylish-sometimes over substance-portrayal of envy. Paul Bettany is pretty damn terrifying and Malcolm McDowell does a sharp job as his older version.

**** - Simply put, Funny People is my favorite Judd Aptow movie. It's also my favorite Adam Sandler movie. It's not 40 Year Old Virgin and it's certainly not Knocked Up. Instead it's a more realistic movie about an insecure but successful comedian that's faced with his own mortality and a new generation of comedians trying to establish themselves in the crowded LA comedy scene. Sandler does some really amazing but very small things during the movie that reminded me of several people I've known with similar success. I don't know if it was intentional but I guess that's the point.

** - It's strange when a movie is this bad but still mildly enjoyable. There are some classic characters but it has possibly the worst screenplay/editing ever. So what saves it? Walken is a crime boss recently released from jail looking for the big payoff and Caruso is the hot headed young cop and the dialog is hilarious.  Not great but hilarious.